i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
