So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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