I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
