even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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