when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
