HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize