so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
