Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
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he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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