i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
