I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
