So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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