So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
