everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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