I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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