I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
