And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
