Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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