You can't motorboat a personality
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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