return my video game
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
