hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Actions speak louder than pants.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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