I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
