It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
