I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize