u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize