Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
