he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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