Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
