does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
