Yo dont text me then not text me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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