Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
