this just has baby written all over it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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