so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
