the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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