Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
