EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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