he thought i was a dude.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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