I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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