6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she told me i tasted like america
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
