I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
