I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
please don't ironically join a cult
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