You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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