the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm just crazy horny about you
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
