normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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