Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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