So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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