I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
