Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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