I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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