I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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