I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
