Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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