sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
