But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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