Don't make out with my wife yet
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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