too bad you live with your parents still
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
