no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
