laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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