Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
