people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
