i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
