I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i came on her dog
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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