check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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