there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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