So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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