Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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