I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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