i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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