I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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